Now, this is the part where I pretend to be listening

Thursday, March 30, 2006

List of things that I will blame when I'm suffering from high blood pressure in the future

1. Guys who don't lift the toilet seats when urinating

This is extremely selfish and irresponsible, what's so hard about bringing the seat up before a pee? If you have excellent aim, good for you. But if you don't, please please please lift the seat up. I DO NOT want to rest my buttcheeks on the seat where your warm stinky manpiss once resided on. Even after wiping furiously, I can almost still feel the urea on my bare skin.

Worse are shoe prints on the toilet seat, WHAT THE FUCK? WHY ARE THEY THERE? These fine specimen of human devolution are most commonly found in many of the bus stations' toilets. It's either you unleash your jet of pee with one foot on the wall and the other on the seat (like a dog) or you have extremely severe fear of sitting on other's urine. For the latter, just wipe it off and complain on the internet la.

2. Extreme usage of professional Photoshoppery on Friendster, Xanga, MySpace or whatever you young people have nowadays

Slight image edting here and there is fun, a little contrast change, a colour swap here etc. are all perfectly fine. But when you do this:

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
(Click for full image LOL This isn't me by the way, I'm not as sexy and adorable. It's just a lovely picture of my friend JunXian which I found very suitable for this subject. Of course, he is a responsible young man who doesn't pose like that all the time. He is also a handsome and gentlemanly gentleman for letting such an unfortunate picture reside in my hard drive.)


And I happen to see it, I WILL cringe and die a little inside because of your misuse of such a wonderful software.

As a learning graphic designer, I may also consider giving up using Photoshop and switch to something less abusable such as MS Paint. The options are more limited and all my works will look like these:

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

But somehow I think it will be worth it.

3. People who use "lol" and "omg" as much as they can, even off the Internet.
Also: People who tYpe LiKe ThIs

This is somewhat related to the previous rant. My hatred of kewl online abbreviations such as "lol", "omg", "wtf", "pwn", "KNNCCB", "ABC", "BBC", "凤凰台", "TV3", "FUCJEKNKN" and their many h4x0r3d variants is very groundless, I just don't like it. I have actually heard "lol" being spoken in real life before, my friend pronounced it as "lawl". ZhiWen, I'm sorry, it's you I'm talking about. LOL JK LOR! No seriously, don't pound me into the ground.

The alternate capping way of typing happened to everyone before, I'm sure. Even me, the person here whining about it. My very first nickname used on mIRC was PrOf_OaK because POKEMON WAS COOL DAMN IT. That wasn't important anyway so let's forget the last 10 seconds (or 3 if you read fast) of reading the previous sentence. As I was saying, this form of typing happened to everyone before when they first started using chat programs such as mIRC and ICQ.

But that was when you were 12, surely you have grown out of typing like a blind chimpanzee with epilepsy a couple of years later? Apparently, no. Friendster has proven this time and time again. Mark Darwin is lolling in his grave now, for his theory of human evolution was just one big elaborate joke.
(lolll geddit??/ lOllIng iN His GraVe)

4. Also slightly related, streaming media on Friendster accounts

Why must you make my browser freeze for a couple of seconds when all I want to do is just to laugh at how ridiculous you are? Why must you make it so hard for me? Some users, I swear, are dying to show you the full streaming football match because it takes a long time to load but all I need are your incredible specimens of Photoshoppery in the gallery. Why?

: (
sObX.

5. You're, your. They're, their. My, mine.

The sad thing is that most of these mistakes I see online are made by people who have English as their first language. I'm no English major by any shot but still, cringeworthy stuff.

Okay I better stop here before I run out of content for the upcoming entries. If you think I was writing about you, I'm not. I only write about those who wouldn't read my blog.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Because of my precious Seagate 160GB hard disk, I have been in a pretty bad mood these couple of days. It's surviving on its last few gasps of breath now and I'm trying as best as I can to back some of the more important files up because it explodes in my CPU. Progress is really slow and frustrating as the hard disk refuses to work every couple of minutes but I had to do it.

I mean, there's something really wrong if you would rather stay at work and use the computer rather than going to use yours because of how slow it has become. Speaking of work, I'm currently interning at GameAxis, a free monthly publication you can pick up at any comic book and games store or other similar places where the guys are all socially-retarded virgins and the girls are all anime characters. Just kidding, GameAxis is also found in hospitals, post offices and many other locations that I can't think of at the moment.

Also slightly kidding on the socially-retarded virgins part, I hope no one gets offended. I don't want to get sliced into two by your hypnotisingly awkward lightsaber skills.

Interning over there is not too bad actually, the stuff I get to do is mostly pretty mundane but at leastI'm surrounded by video games even though I can't play them as much as I would like to. So close yet so far, something like that. But that doesn't take much from the fact that I have to do the boring work such as extracting a character from a game screenshot. I really hope Final Fantasy and the other games featuring characters with REALLY REALLY fanciful hair doesn't get on our magazine during our stay. Think of my darling Mandy! She's really hurting from the extensive clicking and dragging of the mouse. How is she going to perform the more stimulating tasks for me when she's hurt...poor Mandy.

Absolutely dead tired now, but I'm blogging because I love you guys! But it's mainly because I see a slight increase in number of visitors here so everyone must be dying for an update riggghhttt? RIGHT?

I just realised that I have mentioned my internship at GameAxis a post ago. I apologise with a very nice fonts download page. Don't worry, it's not the kind where there are tons of "Harry Potter look-alike!" typefaces.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Sometimes I post links

This is easily one of the most amazing and wow-inducing porfolio I have seen lately.

http://www.okaydave.com/

In terms of work quality, there are better ones out there but the presentation really wins the game for Dave's website. Great idea of having video clips of himself presenting the projects because it's definitely more interesting than a chunk of text and potential clients get to know him before even meeting him in person. I really really reallyr laerlaelralrlalrea like his first featured project and even sent him an email about how much I reall realrlael yrlealrlaerlaelyl like it. No reply because his inbox is probably bursting from all the "ur the best dude ps how do u do the fireworx fx?" mails and I'm quite sure of that because the URL is all over design sites now and he deserves it. Incredible well-rounded technically, great conceptual thinking and a good speaker to boot.

Interning at GameAxis is incredibly tiring but enjoyable thus far. Yes, I'm surrounded by videogames at work. No, I can't play them till my thumbs fall out.

Total mental block right now, I almost burnt my own face by holding an iron up to it.
"Then how else do you want to check whether it's ready for ironing your clothes or not?"
You're a dick, Brain. Dickbrain HAHAHAA okay go away now it's not funny I know end of post.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Can't stop posting links

See what goes on behind all the glamourous glossy magazine covers and pages.
If you click to the beat of the song you're listening to, you can make their less desirable parts dance.

http://www.fluideffect.com/index2.html