I'm sorry

I just woke up not too long ago and was at my computer surfing websites featuring pregnant tentacular hermaphrodite hentai porn when I heard three soft knocks on my door. I opened it, expecting my parents to be back with my lunch but instead, it was this young Malay girl who, I think is my neighbour. Yes, I can't even recognise my neighbours.

In her hands was this huge dish of Hari Raya snacks and she said, "This is for you", her braces showing in a shy and self-conscious smile. I accepted the gift and just stood there for a while, "Wow, thank you. This...is very nice of you." I don't think I have been more genuine in my life before that.

That whole gesture caught me off-guard and it really made me guilty, especially for the times when I would dump my rubbish bags at their doorstep and put plates of half-rotten rice in their shoe cabinet so the rats would gnaw on their sneakers and sports shoes. When the girl offered me the snacks, I noticed the holes in the pair of Nike's she was half-wearing like a pair of slippers and at that very moment, I knew it. I am headed for an eternity in hell where millions of patchy-furred feral rats with blood-red eyes will gnaw on every part of my body until I have repented on my racist ways.

If you really thought I did all those acts in the previous paragraph, please stop reading my blog. You obviously think I'm a bastard with no heart and I am very disappointed.