Ho Chi Minh City Part 2

For our first dinner in HCMC, we ate some of the most delicious animals that mankind deemed distant enough to slaughter: Crabs, eels and kebabs. The only problem eating at Ben Thanh's night market is the number of eateries you get to choose from and they all look the same. "How do I know which one is the best? I only want to eat the best here because I have only so much stomach capacity." We eventually settled on the one that had the most number of locals and the friendliest waiter. I didn't even understand half of what he was saying but hey, he was smiling most of the time.



I've always found soft-shelled crabs to be extremely overrated because of how "empty" they are. I don't know about you but when I eat crabs, I expect thick, juicy, veiny wads of meat instead of just fried shell. But hey, this works as an appetiser so I was probably being a moron ordering this as one of the main dishes.



The moment this was served on our table, we knew we were going to be in for a treat because of how fragrant it was. The marinated beef was done medium rare, so we didn't have to gnaw down on hard, stringy meat. The vegetables were also wel—no one cares about vegetables, I just saw them as "NOT BEEF".



You won't be able to tell but this is a plate of eel stir-fried in sweet peanut-y sauce and with TONS of assorted greens and peanuts added in. The eels they used were the short and skinny river-dwelling kind so there wasn't much meat and to be honest, the only reason why we finished this was because of the sauce and the peanuts.



Many people might not dare to order cockles, especially in a less-developed country because of the threat of hepatitis. But I am one brave mofo with brass balls so I didn't give a shit. Also because I was born with hepatitis B. Mostly the latter.

Anyway, I didn't enjoy this much because of how overcooked and dry the cockles were, which is a shame because the only reason why people eat cockles is because of how juicy and bloody they are when cooked properly.

The whole meal came up to around $20, a little expensive for a mediocre meal in Vietnam but luckily for us, we were going to have better meals later in our stay.



I wasn't even done yet because I was bent on trying as much food as possible when I was there. This is one of Vietnam's traditional food, the Banh Mi which is a mess of pork and vegetables in a baguette sandwich. I didn't take a photo but when the stall-owner was preparing it, she scooped a spoonful of grey gunk off a large hulk of grey gunk and just as she did it, a few flies took off from the surface of the grey gunk and goddamn, what an unappetising piece of grey gunk. I later learned that the grey gunk was actually Pâté, which I would probably appreciate a lot more under a non-fly-infested form.

Possible maggots-ingesting aside, the sandwich was excellent. The baguette was light and fluffy but the real winner was the mystery sauce used. It was sweet with a tinge of dairy I think it was some kind of cheese-infused mayonnaise but well, I guess I'll never find out.

Wait, I actually can find out and well, it's the forementioned Pâté, nice. The fly larvae must have really added a whole new level of flavour into the mashed up pig guts and spare parts. But seriously, for 8000 Dongs (80 cents), this was a perfect snack. Maybe this will become the next food craze in Singapore with hundreds of same-same shops mushrooming under slightly different names. "IchiBanh Mi", "Banh Meez", "Bann Mee" and "Banh Mi Talk".

Speaking of which, why haven't people gotten over donuts yet? Why do retards still go crazy over Krispy Kreme (OH MY GOD YOU'RE GOING TO HONG KONG PLEASE GET KRISPY KREME FOR ME I WILL GIVE YOU MY FIRSTBORN AND MY LEFT BALL)? It's just donuts, people, they've been around for ages.